Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Good Golly Dolly It's All Imploding!

So. Season of good will to all men, so it is. Hmmmm...my seasonal goodwill is somewhat lacking this week, given what a *FABULOUS* beginning it didn't have.

Firstly, the freezer broke. Not a big thing in the scheme of global warming and Romanian orphans (BBC, stop it. I cried into my tea last night). However, my Haagan Das melted! Catastrophe! I never fill the bloody freezer. Never! Except at Christmas....so my contribution to the food waste mountain hit skyscraper proportions today. Still narked about that ice cream. Strawberry cheesecake it was. Grrrrr...

Went out playing Santa. Came back to discover a missing parent. Missing parent, with alcoholic partner somewhere in the depths of the NHS barfing on the staff. Litre bottle of gin a day anyone? I can be smug up here on alcohol free pinnacle (though admittedly I am awaiting the delivery of twelve bottles of fine red wine...). Anyhow, as the old goat is in sheltered accommodation, they called me when his fire alarm went off. He'd set his kitchen on fire in his panic to go to the hospital with Ennui....then vanished into the ether for the next five hours. Naturally I gave them permission to kick his front door in. He's not best pleased with that to be honest, but hey! Saved the rest of his house.

Being English, I resorted to a good cup of tea when in a crisis. Then the kettle blew up. Perhaps one cup to many? Then spent two hours trying to buy one in Whitley Bay this morning. When did the Co-op stop selling kettles?! I could buy wool, cake decorations & sugar craft, Weight Gain 4000, picture frames, muffins, pretend fireplaces, an entire banquet in Iceland, gob stoppers and black bullets (sweets for the uninitiated), free range olive oil....but not a sign of a bloody kettle. In the end I had to brave the hell of Sainsburys. But at least I am now caffeinated.

So. Cheer is somewhat lacking and I've hit the toblerone in despair. But never fear! this isn't all gloom, and doom. Following some tests worthy of the Third Reich, my local hospital gave me permission to drink 'in moderation'. I have no structural issues with my heart, but I do have kangaroo blood pressure (more tests in January, sigh...).

But really: Whoooo Hooooo! Alcohol's back on the menu boys! And this the day before work's party (last Friday). Thank the gods I was allowed to self medicate that night....Newcastle was a sea of angry sequins. Several of the large, structurally unstable sequins wanted to fill me in. Seriously, what is that people don't like about small redheads in black and lace (I was rocking the Goddess Paloma look that night)?

But now for this moment? The wine has just arrived. The tree lights are on, and a dog is sleeping on my feet. My father has been located (well, his body has but there is some discussion regarding the whereabouts of his brain). P is out buying me pressies. All is well, my good readers. All is peaceful. May it all be peaceful with you.

GD xx: listening to random YouTube stuff (Eden House, Paloma in particular); considering the merits of blue nails versus purple; quite content really!